Monday, 21 February 2011


 It's almost that time of year again. In less than a week the 83rd Academy Award Cermony will be held in Los Angeles. Whilst they will be worries about the stage, lighting, music, presenters etc etc there is one thing that has got the organisers of the Oscars more stressed than anything else - will there be enough beans for Jeff Bridges?
"Last year it was a disaster!" said chief of catering Dominic Sprunk, referring to Jeff Bridges infamous violent rampage.
"We knew Jeff loved his beans, so we had about eighty barrels of them. But he just ate so many! He'd devoured every barrel after fifteen minutes. Then he just started bellowing for more! He got so angry he bludgeoned a waiter into a coma with the Academy Award he'd just won. He ran around screaming attacking anyone in his path. Some people are still in wheelchairs! It was crazy! It was almost as bad as the times he's tried to eat Sean Bean and Rowan Atkinson."
This year Sprunk and his colleagues are hoping they will be able to avoid another bean fuelled bloodbath. Over one thousand barrels of beans of several varieties have been shipped in for the event.
"I think we have nearly five hundred million individual beans for this years ceremony. Surely he can't eat that many!"
We'll just have to wait and see.

The moment the unfortunate waiter told Jeff they'd ran out of beans...
Jeff was maddened by blood lust and lack of beans

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